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/ Letting Go Of Baggage: A Weight Loss Plan For Your “Stuff”
The less I needed, the better I felt. • Charles Bukowski
Well, here I go again. Almost, six months ago, I sold everything I owned, and moved to Mexico. Well, almost everything. I still had SIX suitcases, which is a lot to carry if you want to be free.
But, you know what? I wasn’t quite ready to let go of everything yet. I did pretty good at downsizing from a three-bedroom house to this, but it was still a heavy load. But, now, I’m finally ready. I’m ready to exchange my stuff for adventure, freedom, and lightness. If you are learning how to be a nomad, one of the main things you will learn is you need to travel light. So, now I’m down to this.
Now, I’m down to three suitcases (the small ones), and two of these are going to stay at my parent’s house while I journey without them. But this is IT! Everything that I own.
Realizing how much baggage I’ve gotten rid of made me think of a quote I saw a while back:
Now, when I first saw this, I thought “awww….isn’t that sweet.” And I even shared it on my Facebook wall. But, now I realize that this is the worst piece of advice EVER!
You see, what I’ve come to realize is that no one can unpack your crap for you. Trust me, no one is going to want you showing up for the journey, a pile of stuff at your feet, and you expecting THEM to carry it for you and then unpack it for you, too. No, you’ve got to do the hard work yourself. You see, they’ve got their own junk to deal with. When you land in that hotel room together, you’ve both got to make your stuff fit in the closet, and on the bathroom counter, so ,trust me, it’s just a lot better if you don’t show up with a lot of stuff to unpack in the first place.
Letting go of my physical stuff has also let me reflect on just how much emotional baggage that I’ve gotten rid of since being here, too. Sitting on a rooftop and watching the world go by day after day has had me realize that some of the stuff I was carrying around was no longer me anymore.
They were just stories. Things that happened to me in the past. Stories that no longer served me. All of the cells in my body have changed since these stories happened to me. I am no longer the same person even physically, and yet here I was, still carrying all these stories inside. And so I began, letting them go.
The first story I let go, is that I had to have a nine-to-five job, so I could afford a big house and lots of pretty things to put in that house, so I would have to keep working to pay for the pretty things and to keep the CEO’s at the big American companies making lots of money. Letting go of that story, that was the best thing I’ve ever done.
And I let go of so much more. And, you know what? I did it all by myself. I didn’t ask for someone else to come hear my sob stories, the reasons why I was acting a certain way, or to come do the work that only I could do.
No, much like I just gave away half the things I owned, I thanked each thing that shaped me in my life for being there. Yes, I even thanked the things I didn’t like. Because I realized, they all made me who I am. And they are all part of life. This gorgeous life with all its tattered pieces. At one time, they all fit. I honored those stories, and then I gave them back to life.
I am glad that I didn’t expect anyone to do it for me because I’ve been able to look at my things one my one and ask, “Is this really me anymore?”
And yes, I know I still have stuff to let go of. And I will, in time, when I’m ready.
So, you want to know about letting go and how to do it. For physical stuff, that’s easier than you think. Just get rid of it. Your attachments to your “things” will fade.
Letting go of your emotional stuff? You can do that, too. You will have to ask yourself some hard questions. You will have to take the time to get to know yourself and find out who you really are. (Isn’t it interesting that we will take all the time in the world to get to know someone we have a crush on, but we don’t want to take the time to really know ourselves?!)
When you get to know yourself, you will finally realize that most of the things that you think you know about yourself are just stories. Really, all you are is just this present moment. Isn’t it time to start living your own life?
So, are you going to keep living with fear or regret because of things that happened in the past? Or, are you going to open your heart and welcome in this moment with all of its glory? Are you going to keep seeing the world with a veil of judgment and hesitation? Or are you going to allow in this moment exactly how it is and see it for how it chooses to show up?
Letting go isn’t easy. But it’s the best thing I’ve ever done. And as far as all this other advice, you know, about Date Someone Who Travels, Don’t Date Someone Who Travels, Date Your Dog, Date A Girl Who Eats, whatever. How about this, instead? Stop looking for someone to hold onto. Choose the one you can let go with.
She Let Go
Without a thought or a word, she let go.
She let go of fear.
She let go of judgments.
She let go of the confluence of opinions swarming around her head.
She let go of the committee of indecision within her.
She let go of all the ‘right’ reasons.
Wholly and completely, without hesitation or worry, she just let go.
She didn’t ask anyone for advice.
She didn’t read a book on how to let go.
She just let go.
She let go of all the memories that held her back.
She let go of all of the anxiety that kept her from moving forward.
She let go of the planning and all of the calculations about how to do it just right.
She didn’t promise to let go.
She didn’t journal about it.
She didn’t write the projected date in her Day-Timer.
She made no public announcement.
She didn’t check the weather report or read her daily horoscope.
She just let go.
She didn’t analyze whether she should let go.
She didn’t call her friends to discuss the matter.
She didn’t utter one word.
She just let go.
No one was around when it happened. There was no applause or congratulations.
No one thanked her or praised her. No one noticed a thing.
Like a leaf falling from a tree, she just let go.
There was no effort. There was no struggle.
It wasn’t good. It wasn’t bad.
It was what it was, and it is just that.
In the space of letting go, she let it all be.
A small smile came over her face. A light breeze blew through her.
And the sun and the moon shone forevermore. -Rev. Safire Rose
Have a blast, Val!
Thank you, Kelly!!
Great post about letting go of all that STUFF that we really don’t need. I loved it how you explained letting go of your job so you could no longer afford it or all the crap to fill it! Isn’t that the truth? And yes to the fact that no one else can do it for you–sort of like the song lyric, “Sisters are doin it for themselves!” In many ways my recent blog post is all about letting go and right in line with all you’ve said. Congratulations and keep it up! ~Kathy
Hi Kathy,
Your blog is one I really enjoy, too. Glad you liked my article and I love the song lyric you shared!
It’s hard for me to imagine a life without my stuff As I make another place my home, I’m taking such care to finally fill our place with things I said I’d get once I settled down. I’ve been aching for a wooden rolling pin since I moved here, and just got one this week! Have a great time.
Hey Val, can’t wait to see where you go next. I’ve been wanting to do this for some time, but I find I like my stuff. Most of it at least. Well, there’s always storage!
Yeah, it can be a hard decision..I liked my stuff, too, but decided I liked traveling more!
Love following your journeys – both mental and physical. 🙂
Thank you, Jessie!
Letting go can be extremely difficult. I’m in that process and I find that I break down sometimes… This was a very helpful post. Things will be alright and life works itself out in the end.
Getting rid of stuff is liberating!
GREAT POST, VAL!!!!
What an inspirational and helpful post. I really enjoyed reading this. Letting go is a hard but necessary part of life. Thanks for sharing!
Thank you, Mary!! Yes, it is…nothing reminds me of that like traveling!
We are on such similar paths! My motto is: I spent the first half of my life collecting stuff, I want to spend the second half collecting memories 🙂
Interesting and useful! On a side note… Your sense of fashion is so cool. Love those shirts!
Oh, thank you, Lillie! I got one in Thailand and one in Bali! Love the clothes I find in Asia!
Ah, isn’t it liberating! We got rid of all of our stuff when we moved to Spain in 2012. The 4 of us each with 1 carry on and 1 checked suitcase. Here we are 18 months later and that is what we still have, plus a few goodies (printer etc) that we needed for our expat life. In a few months we will become nomadic (SCARY) and need to trim down a bit more. It is great to detach from “things”. We don’t need to hang on to remember, as the memories are in our heads and hearts. Let us know if you make it to Spain Val, we’d love to meet you.
Heidi, where in Spain are you?
We are in Almunecar. Southern Spain about 45 min east of Malaga and 45 min South of Granada.
Right now I will only be in Ibiza and Madrid…I will have to come back to Spain another time for sure!
Doesn’t it feel good? We pared down a lot before we left for our 11-month trip, and we pared down even more when we got back. It was amazing that after living out of a suitcase for a year, we were ready to downsize our holdings so much more. My husband and I kept living out of our suitcases for a month after we got back. And I’m still wearing the same stuff every day, so that’s cut back on our clothing budget, too!
It feels great. Yes, the more I live from my suitcase, the less I realize that I need!
Love this- such wise advice. Every time I move I realize how much “stuff” I have that is really just taking up space- and go on massive sprees of giving things away. Travel is an excellent reminder of what is truly important and how the “stuff” is just stuff.
Right, Elena? You can’t take it with you!
Love this – we just got back from another trip (the 5 of us – only 3 suitcases!) and it’s always a shock to get home and realize how much “stuff” we have cluttering up our life at home, and what we never miss or need while away. Always an inspiration to purge yet more each time we return – good thing! Congrats on lightening your load so successfully.
Since I’ve moved houses and countries so many times I’m not bad at getting rid of stuff – in fact, if you leave anything down for long enough in our house it will get recycled or chucked. Yet, I still seem to have way too much stuff… I think it magically proliferates!
By the way, lovely poem 🙂
Wow — that’s a major downsize. I’m in awe. Look forward to following your next chapters as you continue to live light.
What can I say? Awesome post Valen!
Thank you, Alyson!
Any blog post which starts with a Bukowski quote is always going to grab our attention. And you held it, Val, with some really touching prose. Lovely stuff.
Thank you so much!!
Thank you for sharing such beautiful thoughts, quotes and poems. Travel really helps you learn to let go of things that aren’t important but it still isn’t easy, still it’s something we should all work on doing.
It really does, doesn’t it! And yes, even non-travelers can work on letting go!
I really loved this post, powerful story! It’s so sad to see many people regretting about the past (things they have not done) or postponing things they would love to do… Thinking about what might happen if; that’s the heaviest luggage of all. Get rid of that luggage is our biggest lesson learned. We travel a lot and just see where it will end. What we can do now is the thing we will do now. Thanks!
By the way, when we travel with our kids (4 people in total) we have 2 pieces of luggage..more than enough!
Thanks, Emiel. I love it! Thinking about what might happen if; that’s the heaviest luggage of all. So true! And, I’m impressed that you travel with so little for a whole family!
and again, your growth and inspiration are in my heart and on my mind. you are learning so much, teaching me so much through your learning. letting go- that poem was amazing. please give me again that writer in fb you referred a few times. a male. and this rev and anyone else. i am ready to read material in this frequency. thank you love. soooooooo proud of you. gabi
Thank you, Gabi! Jeff Foster is who you are thinking of. His books are awesome and you can download them on Kindle! I love you so much!!
That is amazing– and I love what you have learned about life and about yourself through your journey. I am going through a major downsizing and would love to shuck it all and travel– but I do have this anchor (husband!) keeping me “grounded” somewhat…hoping one day he’ll realize we are meant to fly.
Thank you, Denise! Yes, we are all meant to fly! Hope you get to travel one day!!
Amazing how all the messages out there are about getting a bigger, house, car, tv etc. Unfortunately the more of that you have the more unhappy people seem to be. Great article about what people face and what they can do about it.
It’s so true!! Thanks, James….
Great read Val! I’ve definitely downsized, but I don’t really see myself ever becoming fully nomadic. I like having a home base and I still like stuff. I do go through a process now when considering a purchase that usually involves weighing the cost of the purchase against where I could travel for that amount. So I think I’ve grown…
Yes, I get that. Some people need a base. Everyone is different!!
Damn girl, this could have been me writing this post. Four years ago, sold everyhting for the same reasons and hit the road. Going back in a couple of weeks from Bali where I am now to let go of the storage unit that houses the last trinkets and especially souvenirs of my children. Been traveling mostly solo for over four years, Been to 39 countries since I started traveling at age 5. Have decided to get a base for a while. So after a year of wondering where, I have decided part of the year in Goa, India, in Bali, Indonesia, and in Thailand and Burning Man in USA (a couple weeks a year in the USA is way enough for me) and to see friend and family. I’ve always been self employed and now go for mobile income. Maybe will see you on the road somewhere. Love your post…of course! You sound like me. Love the letting go thing. It was exactly like that for me. Long but Exactly.
NOT HAVING STUFF HAS GIVEN ME BACK MY LIFE AND FREEDOM, PRICELESS!!!
I love Burning Man, too!! Yes, I would love to meet up with you. Happy travels!!
Hello,
I just love the feeling I get when I read your story.
How do one get rid of emotional stuff? Concretely?
I take pictures and collect all sorts of advise and wisdom which I find on the internet, and even if it is just on my phone it weighs me down….
And how do you get the income to travel?
Best regards
Aud Elin (from Norway)
Hi, there is no getting rid of. Just feeling your feelings. You may enjoy my Youtube channel on some of this at @ValenDawson33. I now have a full time job so I now can only travel 6 weeks of each year. Before, I lived in very inexpensive places like Thailand and Mexico and made a full time income from this travel blog!