This Is Not Another Boring Packing List

This Is Not Another Boring Packing List

Ok, you’re ready for that trip, or actually not ready for that trip. You meant to pack last night, but now you’re up at 4 AM packing throwing all the things into your suitcase, and now you’re panicking because it won’t close, and you are so desperate that you’ve actually googled what to pack.

Before the smell of desperation gets to the airport and boards your plane before you do, it’s ok, I’ve got you covered. I’ll tell you what not to pack first, because, chances are you already packed it. Then, I’ll tell you what to pack. And, you’ll be at that airport with plenty of time for that Bloody Mary before you board that plane.

First Though, The Bag

For ease and convenience I recommend a carry-on sized travel backpack. Standard’s Carry-on Backpack is water-resistant (if you spill your Bloody Mary), easy to clean, and fits airline size rules. It works as a backpack, suitcase, and shoulder bag and has a separate, padded, compartment for your laptop. With its built-in compression straps, you may be able to take a lot more of those cute outfits than you thought and your stuff will stay put instead of talking flailing about and talking shit about you on the plane. You can buy it at the Standard Luggage Online Store.

What Not To Pack

This Is Not Another Boring Packing List

Sorry, Kermit, but no.

1. All That Underwear

Seriously, it’s hand washable, and dries overnight. Save space by leaving about half of what you packed behind.

2. All Those Shoes

You’re going to be the one schlepping all this stuff around. You need 2 pairs. A pair of hiking or walking shoes, and a pair of flip-flops. That’s it. Save the style for when you get back home and enjoy not hauling around a bunch of stuff that you will wish you didn’t.

3. Enough Toiletries To Open A Day Spa

Save the beauty routine for when you’re at home. C’mon, you know you’re gonna roll out of bed at the last possible minute before you get to see that awesome sunrise. 4 words: Dr. Bronner’s Castile Soap. (washing your face, hands, body, hair, wash underwear, hotel room, kill bugs) And 2 more words: coconut oil (shave, moisturize, deodorant, enjoy as a snack, rub it on your hair, your skin, your relationship (ahem!), your bank account, your entire life.

4. A Fanny Pack

If you have to ask why, then we are not friends. (insert eye roll)

5. Your Complaints And Impatience

Airports and traveling are a given for lines, waiting, and schedules getting changed. Just go with the flow and just expect that you’re not going to get where you want to be on time. Guess what? There’s always another bus, another flight, and another train. Who knows what annoying person you’re now not having to sit next to because you caught the next one.

What To Pack

1. A Behavior Guide

This Is Not Another Boring Packing List

Every country has its own standards of behavior and rules. It’s especially important to research the laws of a country before visiting. You can even be caned in Singapore for kissing a woman’s hand. It also shows respect to follow a countries behaviors. So, leave the skimpy clothes at home and save your ass by packing a guide to the cultural rules of your destination.

2. Snacks

Seriously, you can never have enough snacks on an airplane. Well, at least I can never have enough snacks. Especially, since I eat most of mine before I ever arrive at the airport. The world needs more snacks.

3. Earplugs

Block out the noise of crying babies, whining adults, and all other noises of humans with a good pair of earplugs.

4. Disinfecting Wipes

Because you’re staying in a hotel room. Because ewwww!

5. Clothespins

Hang those hand washed underwear to dry, pin your curtains in place. Use your imagination. There’s a lot you can do with clothespins, so toss a few in your bag.

6. Gifts For The People You Meet

When you travel, you meet a lot of people. It’s nice to give gifts to the more important people you meet on your travels, especially if they are hosting you.

This Is Not Another Boring Packing List